


Run

by sadieHD



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Dancing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, in which emily prentiss is depressed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 00:32:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11703057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadieHD/pseuds/sadieHD
Summary: Emily Prentiss struggles to come to terms with her own departure as she begins saying her good-byes to the team at JJ's wedding.





	Run

**Author's Note:**

> just fyi... this is really bad

Emily Prentiss walked the grounds of Rossi’s property. She huffed as she saw the bright lights illuminate the night. He hadn’t been kidding- he owned a mansion. A mansion on the edge of a lake, she noticed fondly as she crept as close as she dared to the water, trying not to get her heels muddy. Thirty years ago she would have had no qualms to kicking off her shoes and flinging herself into the crisp, cool water. But right now she had obligations and responsibilities, one of which was currently staying presentable for the sake of JJ’s wedding.

She looked back to the yard, where the hired help had turned the platform into a dancing area. Will and JJ were sharing their first dance as man as wife. Even from a distance, Emily could see the way they pressed themselves together and she couldn’t help but smile. It was so rare to hold onto love in their line of work; she was happy her friend had managed it. As others began to join, Emily figured she should be getting back.

She walked slowly to the courtyard, watching her friends dance and enjoy themselves. When she got there, she stalked the perimeter of the platforms, content with experiencing the joy second hand. Of course, the first thing that caught her attention was Derek and Penelope, laughing and clearly destroying everyone on the dance floor. She smiled softly, saying her private farewells to the friendship she had with each of the pair. Her eyes were drawn to Aaron and Beth, who were grinning madly as they looked from their dancing friends to each other. Emily couldn’t help but feel her stomach sink slightly at the sight of them. She turned to JJ and Will, who were so caught up in one another that they hadn’t even noticed the tempo change in the music. They continued swaying softly to whatever slow dance had enraptured their minds. Emily chuckled to herself and noticed that David had somehow managed to loop Erin onto the floor, swaying her around merrily with Erin failing miserably at pretending she wasn’t enjoying it. Despite their tumultuous history, Emily couldn’t help but grin as she saw the Section Chief positively beaming. In the back, Emily could see Beth and Spencer, who’d apparently pulled her away from her boyfriend. She smiled, as the pair seemed to be enjoying themselves, hoping the genius wasn’t talking her ear off. Suddenly, a spinning mass obstructed her view, tearing its way across the dance floor. With a start, she realized it was Penelope and Aaron, of all people, howling and cackling like maniacs. Emily snorted as the unexpected but not unwelcome pair continued amusing themselves with their antics.

She almost flinched as a hand was suddenly in front of her. Her eyes followed the skinny arm up to Spencer Reid, of all people. “May I have this dance?” he asked, his voice drenched in gentlemanly politeness.

Smiling, Emily accepted the hand. “I’d be delighted,” she said, squealing softly as he immediately spun her around with much more elegance and grace than she’d been expecting. He spun her into his arms, his hand respectfully on her back, a grin shining on his face. “Spencer Reid, have you been practicing?” she teased, though she was genuinely surprised by his skills.

“I studied the history and technique behind it all morning. You know, ballroom dancing is little more than math if you think about it. It’s commonly regarded that music is merely an extension of math, so if you merely apply the appropriate steps in coordination with the steady counting, everything should go perfectly.”

He grunted slightly as he stumbled on his foot, though he recovered remarkably well. Emily raised her eyebrows. “Is that so?” she quipped, laughing. “It takes some small amount of coordination, too, I wager.”

He feigned a scowl at her teasing. “That’s what the practice this morning was for.” She couldn’t suppress her smile at his poor impression of Hotch’s perpetual frown, finding it absolutely endearing. The pair calmed down as the song transitioned into a slow dance, reveling in the peaceful quite of the other’s arms. “Emily?” Spencer asked at last.

“Hmm?”

“Why do you want to leave?”

Emily missed her step, twisting her ankle on her shoe. She winced. “Spencer…”

“Why aren’t we enough?” His voice wasn’t quivering, but it was low and soft, like a child’s.

“Oh, Spencer, sweetie,” Emily cooed, rubbing her hand on his back. “I love you all so so much and don’t ever think you aren’t enough for me. I just… There are a lot of emotions to deal with coming back. As hard as I’ve tried, I just can’t seem to adjust.” She pulled back slightly, looking making sure he met her eye. “But that has nothing to do with you or how I feel about you. Do you understand?”

Spencer nodded, pulling her closer once more.

The next song was upbeat and they were both ready to party. They danced around wildly, Spencer pleased to impress his friends with his new skills. At some point Derek walked up, taking Emily’s hand from the Spencer’s. “My turn, pretty boy.” The genius grinned as he handed her over, blowing a kiss to Emily dramatically, who laughed and felt grateful to be in the hearts of all these wonderful people.

Where Spencer’s dancing had been technical and attempted poise, Derek’s was free and fun. They both swayed to the upbeat tempo, Emily matching Derek’s fluid movements with surprising ease. Well, she hadn’t gone salsa dancing for nothing. She allowed herself to relax in his arms; as far as she could tell, he wasn’t going to confront her a second time on her departure. Embracing the carefree ideal she aspired to be, she had fun.

JJ had finally torn herself from Will, which attracted Penelope like a magnet, as she was desperate to celebrate her friend’s new life, even if it wasn’t all that different. Penelope eagerly grabbed Emily on the way, who shrugged at the laughing Derek, who couldn’t even pretend to look dejected as he watched the three women dance before turning around and finding some other willing participant.

“Aw, isn’t this so exciting?” Penelope squealed. JJ laughed as the women wrapped their arms around each other, swaying with surprising coordination with the music. “Em, I’d let you lead us in a more dance-like dance, but unfortunately I just don’t think either of us would be able to keep up with you in the state we’re in.”

Emily laughed as JJ nodded vigorously. “I’m exhausted,” the bride added. “I’m practically having Will carry me.”

“I doubt he minds,” Penelope teased, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“I’m sure he’s just happy you finally agreed,” Emily said, sparing a glance at JJ’s husband.

“Tell me about it. But it’s cute how excited he is.”

“It’s sweet,” Penelope agreed.

“Well- that’s enough about men. This is a ladies’ dance, and I want to focus on nothing but,” JJ asserted firmly. The two other women nodded resolutely. The newest profiler looked at Emily pointedly. “I just want to show my friends how much I love them right now,” she said, propping her elbow on Emily’s shoulder and running her hand in her hair.

Penelope, tech analyst that she was, could tell when something was wrong. But she didn’t want to think about it. She wanted to be happy- today was a happy day. Still concerned, however, she squeezed Emily firmly. “You two are angels. I love you.”

Emily grinned, blinking the tears out of her eyes. “I love you, too,” she said. If her voice broke with emotion, no one mentioned it.

The girls continued laughing and swaying in general time with the music, mostly just enjoying their company. Eventually Will came and dragged JJ away, pulling her in for a sweet kiss before dancing like before. Penelope was quickly taken by Derek and Emily found herself swept into the arms of David Rossi.

“Hello there,” David greeted warmly. Emily didn’t need to know where the old Italian learned how to dance; if she learned anything from her time in Rome, rhythm was just in his blood. And leave it to ex-mafia, cigar-loving Rossi to know how to ballroom dance.

“You’re leaving.” It wasn’t a question. Emily’s smile faded.

“Yes.”

David nodded solemnly, giving the agent a scrutinizing look. “It’s okay to not be able to come back.”

“You did,” she argued, the guilt of having to say good-bye to so many wonderful friends weighing down on her. Was she disappointing them?

“I _invented _the damn Unit,” he said. “Me leaving would be like abandoning a child. Meanwhile you’re going back to your old roots. In a leadership position, no less.”__

__“Yep,” she affirmed nervously. “I’d be heading my old Unit.”_ _

__David beamed proudly. “Attagirl.”_ _

__She smiled at his praise. She hadn’t even realized how much his approval had meant to her- she was never one to ask for someone’s permission. But with David it was different. In the past four years he’d been more of a father than her parents ever were. Giggling, she listened to his snarky judgments of the crowd around them as they continued dancing._ _

__It wasn’t long before she noticed David was leading her to Aaron. “I want you to actually say good-bye to him this time,” he whispered. “You didn’t last time and I’m afraid it crushed him.” Emily didn’t have time to react before David was calling the Unit Chief over. “Aaron! I’m afraid these old bones are no much for hour upon hour of dancing. Perhaps you could take this lovely lady off my hands?”_ _

__Emily felt a warm hand wrap around her waist as Aaron smiled, his dimples showing. David’s hand slid out of hers as he left the two to, presumably, find drinks. She swallowed hard as Aaron pulled her close. After a few moments of dancing, Emily gasped. “I didn’t know you learned how to dance,” she exclaimed, grinning wildly._ _

__“Hey!” he objected. “Look, just because the last time we danced was twenty years ago doesn’t mean I haven’t taken a dancing lesson since.”_ _

__“Dancing lessons?” she repeated incredulously. “Aaron Hotchner took dancing lessons?”_ _

__“Is that so surprising?”_ _

__Emily scoffed. “Well, considering how last time we danced you stepped on at least five people’s feet before I even got you drunk made me think you’d learned your lesson and would never attempt again.”_ _

__“Haley made me learn for a cousin’s wedding,” he explained._ _

__“She wasn’t charged with negligent homicide?” she faked gasped, bringing her mouth to a small ‘o’. Hotch rolled his eyes and spun her around expertly. Her breath hitched as he swung her back to him, pressing their bodies tightly together. “Maybe you’re the one who should be charged, Agent Hotchner.”_ _

__Aaron flushed at the compliment and the two continued their banter as they made their way across the dance floor. Suddenly the music became a slow dance and Emily wondered when they’d gotten so close. She could feel his warm breath on her neck and could smell his cologne. “Are you okay?” he asked._ _

__Her smile faded. “Tonight’s been a little heavy on the good-byes,” she admitted._ _

__Aaron squeezed her gently, pulling her closer to him. “I’m sorry.”_ _

__“It’s not your fault.” He really had to stop apologizing for everything._ _

__“No, not that,” he said. His voice had gone uncharacteristically quiet. “I’m sorry for not being able to bring you back.”_ _

__They were doing little more than standing in place now. “There’s nothing you could have done.”_ _

__“There’s everything I could have done,” he responded, not missing a beat._ _

__“Aaron,” she said, her voice gentle. “You can’t fix everyone.”_ _

__“I should be able to. The ones that matter, at least.”_ _

__Her lips quirked up. “I matter?” she asked, her tone light and teasing._ _

__“Of course you matter.”_ _

__She fell silent, not expecting his answer to be so sincere. She’d thought she’d gotten over her silly tendency to doubt her own worth, but ever since Doyle’s return she’d forgotten what it meant to be a part of a family. She’d been on her own in Paris. No one to help her. In those months she remembered what it was like to be alone. While self-sufficiency certainly had its benefits, it had taken a toll on her as well. Her guilt of ringing her teammates into the Doyle mess began consuming her. When Aaron had called her back, it had only been solidified by their reactions. Their grief may have reminded her that she had a family who loved her, but it also reminded her that she wasn’t deserving of one. Not if this was what she would do to them._ _

__She couldn’t allow herself to be around them again. She had other enemies besides Doyle- what if they went after the BAU as well? Would she force them to go through another terrorist ordeal again? No, it was better for her to leave. She couldn’t walk two steps into the office without a reminder of what she had put them through._ _

__“Of course you matter,” he repeated. It was barely more than a whisper. Emily closed her eyes and lost herself in his words, echoing in her mind. She may have hurt them, but she still mattered. She was still loved, even if she hadn’t been forgiven yet. She leaned in closer to Aaron, feeling his warmth radiating off of him in waves. His proximity was comforting, his warmth was comforting, his very presence was comforting. For the first time in months, instead of shying away from the ease that came with being around him, she became engulfed in it._ _

__“May I?”_ _

__Emily snapped out of her trance at Beth’s voice, retreating into herself once more. She knew Aaron felt her stiffen in his arms but she didn’t care. She smiled broadly. “He’s all yours,” she said. She pulled away from the Unit Chief quickly, glancing over only to smile when she saw he had paused to look at her, his concern palpable. Soothed but not satisfied by her acknowledgement, Aaron allowed Beth to pull them to the other side of the floor, feeling Emily’s eyes heavily on his back._ _

__“Just what I was waiting for.” Emily turned to face Derek, who was grinning as he held out his hands. She couldn’t help but smile, sliding into his grip and resting her head on his shoulder. “You good?” he asked._ _

__Emily wondered if he remembered his question from nearly two years ago. “I’m good,” she responded, the lie easy on her tongue. She sighed and shut her eyes tightly, wondering if she kept them shut long enough, everything around her would just disappear. “I’m good.”_ _


End file.
